I have a complex. I call it the genius complex. Basically I think I’m a genius. Every once in awhile I’m reminded I’m not.
People that know me are shaking their heads….it’s true. I’m sure its a real treat to deal with me, thinking I’m always right. But it’s not always a bad thing, for me. My genius complex makes me take on projects that any normal person would turn down, but I always think I can handle anything. Most of the time, it works out. I’m a problem solver, and when I don’t have the answer, I find the person who does. But sometimes I land on my ass. Anyways, why I’m telling you this, is because I realize I’ve developed another complex. Its an athlete complex, an overabundance of confidence in oneself.. Yesterday I was brought back to reality.
Wednesday is the practice day at Running Room, so all the different training groups were in the store as I was waiting for my clinic to begin. For the record, I’m in the 10k clinic this spring. As I sat down and looked around at all the people in my group I couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. I truly thought I was too good to be in this clinic. I looked over at my half marathon training group from last spring, it was all the same people, and I felt so left out. Many of them looked questioningly at me sitting with the 10k-ers.
I really started to feel sorry for myself sitting there. But then we went out to run. I’m pretty used to running at the front of the group, but I was almost immediately in the back of the group. Heck, even the injured people were ahead of me. I wasn’t last, but I sure wasn’t where I used to be. I judged the people in the group to be old, overweight, etc. etc. and surely thought I was a better athlete than them. I started to have a new feeling….I felt guilty for judging. I’m not trying to turn this into an episode of “the more you know”, but I learned a pretty good lesson last night- one that I probably should have known. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, runners come in all shapes, sizes and ages. The important thing is that we were all out there running together, supporting each other. I felt like a pretty crap person halfway through the run. Finally though, I was taken over by another feeling. As the run was nearly finished, I felt so proud, proud of myself and all the other people in the group for getting out there. I’m sure others looked at me with my “I just had a baby” belly and ill-fitting running top and didn’t think I was capable of much, but I finished strong, and really didn’t even break a sweat.
What did this do? It gave me more confidence. Like I needed more of that.