The Athlete Complex

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I have a complex. I call it the genius complex. Basically I think I’m a genius. Every once in awhile I’m reminded I’m not.

People that know me are shaking their heads….it’s true. I’m sure its a real treat to deal with me, thinking I’m always right. But it’s not always a bad thing, for me. My genius complex makes me take on projects that any normal person would turn down, but I always think I can handle anything. Most of the time, it works out. I’m a problem solver, and when I don’t have the answer, I find the person who does. But sometimes I land on my ass. Anyways, why I’m telling you this, is because I realize I’ve developed another complex. Its an athlete complex, an overabundance of confidence in oneself.. Yesterday I was brought back to reality.

Wednesday is the practice day at Running Room, so all the different training groups were in the store as I was waiting for my clinic to begin. For the record, I’m in the 10k clinic this spring. As I sat down and looked around at all the people in my group I couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. I truly thought I was too good to be in this clinic. I looked over at my half marathon training group from last spring, it was all the same people, and I felt so left out. Many of them looked questioningly at me sitting with the 10k-ers.

I really started to feel sorry for myself sitting there. But then we went out to run. I’m pretty used to running at the front of the group, but I was almost immediately in the back of the group. Heck, even the injured people were ahead of me. I wasn’t last, but I sure wasn’t where I used to be. I judged the people in the group to be old, overweight, etc. etc. and surely thought I was a better athlete than them. I started to have a new feeling….I felt guilty for judging. I’m not trying to turn this into an episode of “the more you know”, but I learned a pretty good lesson last night- one that I probably should have known. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, runners come in all shapes, sizes and ages. The important thing is that we were all out there running together, supporting each other. I felt like a pretty crap person halfway through the run. Finally though, I was taken over by another feeling. As the run was nearly finished, I felt so proud, proud of myself and all the other people in the group for getting out there. I’m sure others looked at me with my “I just had a baby” belly and ill-fitting running top and didn’t think I was capable of much, but I finished strong, and really didn’t even break a sweat.

What did this do? It gave me more confidence. Like I needed more of that.

3 thoughts on “The Athlete Complex

  1. Leabeth aka Nana

    so proud of you Em!!!!You know I look at Glenn as he runs on the treadmill and think he is so determined to stay healthy….I need some of that…a kick in the ass really as you say…..I vow…to try to exercise…you and Glenn are my inspiration…thanks for the kick…will keep you posted!!!!you…keep up the great work!

  2. Jamie

    Good of you to acknowledge your downfall in judging those runners. Something we’ve all done before. But you’re definitely right, we all come in different shapes and sizes, and some of those runners may be people like me. People who pride themselves in finishing 10k and couldnt imagine running a marathon or half marathon for that matter. People who you may see as overweight but have put in so much effort to lose a large amount of weight, but still feel like they have a ways to go. I say better doing a 5 or 10 k then sitting at home watching tv!! Awesome blog though Emilie! and good on you for being determined enough to get back into it so soon after having a baby. Also- if your family is anything like mine, i’d like to give some recognition to your husband for being so supportive with the baby while you get back into your lifestyle!!

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